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Stanley J. Grenz
One major problem is that of completing the adoption process. The
availability of abortion and the trend toward single mothers electing to keep
their babies has reduced the number of adoptable babies in the United
States. As a result, waiting periods have lengthened from two to, at times,
eight years. Many couples find the length of the wait, which draws out the
adoption process, simply too great an obstacle to overcome. An alternative
to which many have turned is the adoption of children from impoverished
countries. Others have been willing to take into their homes children who
are either physically or mentally disadvantaged or rejected for some other
reason.5 Such an act requires great fortitude, but also becomes an example
of great love.
A second difficulty focuses on the expense surrounding the adoption pro
cess. Although some institutions may offer their services at little charge, the
costs of adoption through other agencies can be high. These expenses often
come after a couple have already spent a large sum of money on infertility
treatment.
Finally, adoption brings a certain amount of trauma not associated with
biological birthing. An adopting couple will need to cope with the implica
tions of their pursuance of adoption, for thereby they are acknowledging that
their efforts to give birth have come to an end. Family and friends might find
it difficult to accept the adopted child, adding to the stress of the adjustment.
And in later years the family will need to assist the adopted child in coping
with the knowledge that the biological parents gave the child for adoption.6
Despite these difficulties, adoption can be a laudable expression of the open
ness of the marriage partners to broaden their bond in order to welcome new
life in their midst.
b.
Remaining child free.
Another alternative for the infertile couple is tha
of remaining child free. The ancient Hebrews viewed childlessness as an
unfortunate, even a reproachful situation. A similar viewpoint was wide
spread in American culture until recently, in that children were viewed as
crucial to the economic well-being of the family. But as the focus of the
nature of the family shifted from production to consumption, attitudes
toward childlessness began to change as well. On the heels of such changes,
this option has become more acceptable and more commonplace.
Viewed from a Christian perspective, a case could be made for choosing
to remain child free. A New Testament foundation for this option arises by
extending Paul’s argument regarding the single life (1 Cor. 7:25-40) to the
already married who are contemplating having children. Just as marriage can
5. The situation of “special-needs” children is described in Richard Lacayo, “Nobody’s
Children,”
Time,
9 October 1989, 91-95.
(>. Cases of adopted children and genetic parents finding each other are widely publicized.
I'<>r a recent repor t , see Hl izabeth 'Taylor, “Are You My Mo t he r? ”
Time,
9 Oc t obe r 1()8(), ()().